


i'll see you (when i fall asleep)

by jiusngs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, jaemin just loves playing with renjuns hair in this one, lots of fuff, mentions of an arranged marriage but i didnt actually wanna write that, renjun finds a home in jaemin, renmin, song: Little Talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 09:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19082017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiusngs/pseuds/jiusngs
Summary: safe and warm is what renjun felt with jaemin.alternatively, renjun is quick to find a home in jaemin.





	i'll see you (when i fall asleep)

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh there's not much for me to say here other than to refer to a slight trigger warning: there is mention of a parent grabbing their child (without the intention of hurting them, so it isn't too major), but i thought i'd mention it just in case !!

“you’re not supposed to be here.” renjun whispered, hand gripping onto the window, ready to close it at any moment.

“yet,” jaemin came into view as he pushed past donghyuck. “here we are.” he smiled at renjun. “hey.”

renjun fell silent. it was that stupid smile and the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in a while that made him smile back. “hey.” he copied, his worry washing away for a split second. he stared at jaemin, and jaemin stared right back.

“if you two are done making googly eyes at each other,” donghyuck tore their attention away and redirected it to himself. “the rest of us,” he indicated to his friends around him. “would like to talk to renjun.”

jaemin coughed, backing away from the window to stand beside jisung instead. jisung was getting taller; renjun remembered the last time he saw him - _properly saw him_ \- jisung wasn’t as tall as he was now. renjun was missing a lot and he knew it, but there wasn’t exactly much he could do about it; what with his parents keeping a strict eye on him (maybe not right that second), and them having already said that they disapprove of the friends renjun’s made, spending time together wasn’t the easiest thing for them to do.  
the reason for it was a bad one, all too close-minded: the fact that his friends were of a much lower social status and belonged to families that weren’t as wealthy seemed to upset renjun’s parents.  
if this was how they’d handle these situations, renjun was terrified of what they’d do when they found out he was dating one of them. especially since his parents were going to arrange for him to be partnered with one of the higher-class girls; someone his age, someone who knew what it meant to be amongst the wealthy, someone renjun wouldn’t like at all. he was sure that they already had someone in mind.  
his grip loosened on the window.

“the festival is in a few days,” it was jeno who was speaking now. 

lee jeno. he fell somewhere in the middle alongside chenle, their other friend. they didn’t belong to the common nor the wealthy; they were perfectly balanced. though, renjun wasn’t too envious of their privilege seeing that his parents had dismissed the two as well. there wasn’t much privilege at all, the more that renjun thought about it.

“yeah,” chenle said. “you’d love it! they have everything there.”

renjun smiled sympathetically towards him. “you know i’d love to,” he started to explain. “but i can’t. if my parents catch me out of the house-”

“we’ll all be in trouble. we know.” donghyuck said too harshly for renjun’s liking. jaemin placed a hand on his shoulder, silently asking him to keep collected.

“hey,” renjun scowled nonetheless. “it’s not like i can help it. my parents are just…” he trailed off in thought of the right word.

“stubborn?” mark offered, raising his eyebrows. 

renjun nodded and they all fell silent. he stared at them as they stared at the ground. it was unfair, he knew that. it was unfair that his parents kept him from doing things everyone his age did – everyone his age that had the slightest bit of freedom, at least.  
his parents didn’t want anybody getting the wrong impression of their family by seeing their son spend his time with people he wasn’t supposed to. at first, it angered renjun, it even angered the rest of them, but, eventually, they came to terms with it. not that they liked it, there just wasn’t anything they could do to stop it.  
so, they helped renjun sneak out one day, and then another, until, eventually, it became a regular thing. he’d climb out of the window at just past midnight and be back before six in the morning; near the time his parents would wake up for work.  
there wasn’t much they could do at that time, but they (mark and jaemin) had connections, connections with people that would keep their sneaking around a secret. one, for example, was the man who runs the small ice cream shop on one of the corners. renjun wasn’t necessarily allowed to have things such as ice cream on a regular basis. which was one of the many reasons he just couldn’t understand why people envied him – other than a few obvious details, of course.  
but, he supposed, it went both ways; he envied the others for their freedom, they envied him for his money. and maybe that’s why he should’ve been envious of chenle and jeno: they were right in the middle, didn’t have to pick a side.

“we just miss you, injunnie.” jaemin offered a sad smile which renjun unwillingly accepted. 

renjun sighed and sank his teeth into his bottom lip - a habit he thought he had long forgotten. he opened his mouth to reply before a voice sounded just outside of his bedroom.

he widened his eyes, grabbing onto the window once again. “go.” he said. “that’s my mom.” they stared at him, exchanging blinks. “ _go!_ ” he hissed through his teeth before pushing the window shut, making sure they’d all gotten out of sight.  
he made his way over to his bed, opening the book that sat there idly only seconds before.  
three soft knocks signalled that his mother was at the door. he called out, telling her that it was okay to come in.

“hey,” she cooed softly, walking over to him. “how are you doing? are you okay?” she took a seat on the end of his bed, hands folded in her lap.

he waited a moment before responding. he took his time closing the book, waiting for his heart rate to die down; no matter how many times he had almost gotten caught with his friends, it didn’t get any less scary than the first.

“why wouldn’t i be okay?”

she pursed her lips and raised a single eyebrow as if to say ‘ _you know why_ ’. he didn’t, but he had a hunch. 

“don’t you miss any of your friends from school?”

there it was. this was one of the times he couldn’t believe how oblivious his parents actually were. he never once brought a friend home from school, so where would they get the idea that he had any? sure, he knew people and would talk to them as he walked to his next class, but other than that, he didn’t have any real friends in the place.  
a memory suddenly trickled its way into his head, allowing his focus to falter for a moment. just a moment. 

 

_renjun was sat outside on a bench, hastily scribbling down answers to the homework that was due in the next few periods when someone grabbed the pen out of his hand, causing the ink to run a line on the page. he scowled, mouth already open to confront them. when his eyes met jaemin’s, they softened._

_“what are you doing here?”_

_“is there a reason i can’t be?” he smirked as he cocked his head to one side, the pen twirling over and under his fingers._

_they weren’t dating at this point; they were ignorant and oblivious. they were children.  
renjun looked around, making sure no one could see them – if any of the students saw some random kid just sitting there out of uniform, they wouldn’t hesitate to report it. it wasn’t likely that anyone would catch them; renjun had a bench that was located behind the school, while most kids were sat at the front. maybe that was one of the reasons why he didn’t have many friends there. he brushed off the thought._

_renjun leaned in and over the table, whispering. “are you_ crazy? _you’re not allowed to be here, jaemin.” he said, before widening his eyes as another thought occurred to him. “aren’t you missing classes?”_

_jaemin smiled again. “they’re having some type of ‘teacher’s evaluation’ thing going on. we got let out early.”_

_“and you thought it’d be smart to come here,_ why?”

“ _just missed you, injunnie.”_

 

he blinked, eyes refocusing on his mother as he tried to shove the memory back into the depths of his mind. her lips moved, but renjun couldn’t hear any sound come out. not until she asked him something that must have been a repeat of her previously asked question.

he coughed. “i don’t have any school friends. you know that.”

she hit her tongue against the roof of her mouth, her eyebrows furrowing. “you must have some friends. you’re a-”

“i _did_ have friends.” he said abruptly. “good ones.”

“renjun,” her expression softened. he knew this was only out of pity. “they were no good for you, you’ll get over them.” she gave him a small smile. “you’ll soon learn that you need friends like yourself, not people of… of-”

“yeah,” he said harshly. “i get it.”

“renjun-”

“they can’t control their financial situations – not that they even had any problems.” he spat suddenly, slamming the book shut. he knew it was wrong to get worked up over it, but he needed the point to get across. maybe, this just wasn’t the best way. “they’re doing fine.”

“and how would you know that?” she questioned, mind silently racking until she came to a realisation. “renjun, you’re not still seeing them, are you?”

“of course not,” he lied. “how could i?” his face dropped, fingers running over the cover of the decoy that was the book, feeling the engravings blindly.

they sat together in uncomfortable silence. _still._ neither knew what to say to the other; they’d never had a particularly good relationship, the same went for renjun and his father. maybe it was because they never bothered to care about having one with their son. they knew nothing about him; they’d never made an effort to learn.

“are you ready for the girl you’re going to meet?” she said suddenly, startling renjun. she probably thought it was a good topic change, one to lighten the mood. 

it wasn’t.

his mouth went dry. they hadn’t spoken about this topic in a while, mainly because renjun avoided it with every chance he could. he didn’t know why his mom thought he’d be happy about it when he hadn’t shown any particular interest in anything having to do with it.  
two years ago, they’d told him that he would be set up with someone, not only did he find this unfair for himself, but for the poor girl that got stuck with him. he’s been trying to find ways to weasel out of it ever since the announcement but to no avail. he was stuck like a fly in a flytrap; continuously struggling to break free.

“no…” he murmured, hoping that there was a slight chance his mother hadn’t heard him. she did.

she placed a comforting hand on his knee. “that’s a given.” she smiled again. “but once you get to know her, i’m sure you will love her. we’re in the process of choosing someone as we speak.”

“great…” he tightened his lips.

✰ 

“i’m sorry, renjun.” jisung gave him an apologetic look. “they insisted.”

he stepped aside, letting the rest of his friends come into view,  
it was nine at night, and his friends had decided it good to come knocking on his window. they were all dressed comfortably, staring at him with pleading eyes. he sighed. there was no way he was going to that festival; not at this early hour. it was too easy for him to get caught, and being reprimanded by his parents wasn’t exactly his ideal friday night.

“it’s not even midnight,” he spoke his thoughts into existence, not that the rest of them hadn’t known he would say it, anyway. he was becoming too predictable.

“and,” donghyuck dragged out. “your parents are going out tonight, aren’t they? i heard there was a meeting or something.”

renjun shook his head. “it’s only two hours.”

“so,” he said again. “if they leave soon, they’ll only be back by eleven-thirty. renjun, that’s plenty of time.”

renjun knew he shouldn’t; it was all too rushed and risky. if his parents somehow managed to find out and catch him and the rest of his friends in the act, they’d all be in big trouble. renjun finally looked back at them, only to frown.

“isn’t jaemin going?” he asked, taking notice of the empty space the other once filled. it felt odd to renjun; jaemin was the one that was always there.

“he is,” jeno confirmed. “he told us that he was just going to be a bit late, that’s all.”

renjun nodded, staring at him warily. he also knew that he shouldn’t worry, because maybe jaemin was just busy, and maybe there wasn’t any bad reason behind him being late. but renjun couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that began to stir in the pit of his stomach.  
he took a look around his room, eyes falling upon the closed door. _locked_. he gulped hard, thoughts wavering. one night, he told himself. it was just going to be _one night_ where they bent the rules a bit more than usual.  
he turned back to them and nodded, making his way out of the window, because maybe learning to become unpredictable was a good thing.

 

it was colder than renjun had originally expected it to be, he regretted not making the quick decision of grabbing something warm before heading out.  
he walked beside donghyuck, looking over at chenle and jisung who were deep into a conversation the rest of them couldn’t hear. they never could; it was like the two had their own little world, blocked off from outsiders. he smiled, turning to jeno and mark, the two laughing about something donghyuck had said. choosing to sneak out with them hadn’t been his worst idea.

“what time are the fireworks supposed to start?” renjun asked, hoping to get an answer out of any of them. they glanced at him and stayed quiet. he frowned. “did you hear-”

 _“at about ten-thirty.”_

renjun felt a pair of arms snake around his waist. he jumped, spinning around to catch sight of whoever it was. _but he knew_. he knew because of that voice; the smile that was so evident whenever he spoke. renjun smiled back.

“hey, injunnie.” jaemin’s eyes shined as the moonlight reflected in them, and if renjun were to look up at the sky, surely all the stars would be missing.

“hey,” he replied back. “you’re a bit late.”

jaemin pouted, eyebrows forming a crease. “i think i’m sick.”

renjun fake gagged and stuck his tongue out, playfully pulling away from him. jaemin laughed, his grip on the other only growing stronger the more he struggled.

 _quicksand_ , renjun said silently to himself. _sinking deeper and deeper._

“if i catch the flu,” renjun raised his eyebrows seriously. “it’s all on you.”

the other lifted his hands up in mock-surrender. “fair.”

the two smiled, intertwining their hands before looking at the rest.

donghyuck scrunched his nose up in disgust. “i think _i’m_ sick.” 

 

✰ 

the fireworks had started at 10:25.  
the group of seven were sat around a tree, the tallest tree they could find. 

“i dub thee,” donghyuck had started jokingly as he raised his voice. “the dream tree.”

renjun and jaemin had excluded themselves a while after the fireworks show had begun. now, they sat behind the tree, with jaemin leaning against it as renjun’s head lay in his lap, his fingers playing with the strings of jaemin’s hoodie – he’d urged jaemin to wear it since he’d become sick and needed to stay out of the cold, but jaemin all but took it off and shoved it in renjun’s arms. renjun didn’t mind; it was warm.  
he felt jaemin thread his fingers through his hair with ease as the cacophony of fireworks filled his ears, green lights shooting up into the sky like rockets, reflecting in their eyes.  
they both treasured these: the long-lived moments together. although still loving the short ones, these were just more tranquil, they brought comfort to the two – a comfort in one another.  
jaemin suddenly blocked his view, eyes wide and mouth pulled up in a grin. he was leaning over renjun, so everything was upside down and looked a bit funny to him. renjun laughed lightly as the other’s hair tickled his nose. his laugh became stuck in his throat, though, because, just as suddenly, jaemin was kissing him and renjun was kissing back and they were just kissingkissingkissing. everything else became a blur, the two focusing on only each other. but renjun was still laughing, and so was jaemin. the reason for it unknown, but it was shared in pure bliss. he opened his eyes to look at the boy still staring back at him. if renjun hadn’t known any better, he’d say that jaemin had just pulled a _‘spider-man-and-mary-jane’_ on him.  
he pouted, bringing his hands up to smoosh jaemin’s cheeks. jaemin grumbled in false annoyance, doing the same to renjun before letting go and tracing his fingers up and down his face. _oblivious_. renjun let his hands fall, choosing to take jaemin’s into them as he closed his eyes, his thumbs rubbing circles.

 

it wasn’t long after renjun had fallen asleep that the gasps had woken him. he sat up, confused as he craned his neck around the tree to get a better view of what was going on. he looked at jaemin, whose legs were on either side of him, arms hanging loosely around his waist. he seemed tired; maybe he’d also fallen asleep. to further this thought, jaemin yawned, copying renjun’s motion in looking over at the disruption.  
that’s when renjun realised: he’d fallen asleep.  
he fumbled with the sleeve of jaemin’s hoodie, glancing at his watch. _11:12_. he should have left by this time.

“renjun…” jaemin whispered, his breath brushing against the other’s ear. “isn’t… isn’t that your dad?”

 _no_. why would his dad be here? out of all places, why here?

renjun stared again, forcing eyes to focus on the figures standing on the small platform at the end of the field; the stage where the band and mini-orchestra had played only an hour ago, but all had now fallen silent as the townsfolk awaited the words of the upperclassmen to fill the air. renjun’s father was surrounded by personnel, the mic booming as he cleared his throat. his ears screeched, and he was sure jaemin’s had too, his sudden wince drawing renjun’s attention.  
renjun dreaded the entire situation; he felt as if he had been stripped of jaemin’s hoodie and was left out in the open, too exposed to the cold.  
_too exposed._

“i know this is highly unexpected,” his father spoke with that deep voice which many had found to be charming - but to renjun, it was nothing if not something that brought back terrible childhood memories. “but tonight, an important decision was made, and i’m excited to share it with you all!” this peaked the peoples’ attention. jaemin and renjun listened just as intently. “as i am sure you all know: my wife and i have been in the process of choosing a partner for my son… well, we’ve finally decided, and you’ll all be invited to the celebration next week!”

they all cheered. they chorused so loudly about the fact that they were being invited to a party – a party being held by the higher class, nonetheless. it was so loud that they almost managed to drown out renjun’s racing thoughts from screaming inside of him. they pounded against his head, wanting to break free, wanting to be spoken, but he kept them trapped.  
he looked to jaemin who was already staring at him disconcertingly, mouth agape. renjun shook his head wildly, tears brimming his eyes and threatening to spill. 

“ _jaemin_ …” he managed to croak out. “jaemin, i-i can’t…”

jaemin pulled him into a hug, letting him rest upon his shoulder and letting him grip onto his shirt so tightly. jeno peeked out from the other side of the tree in obvious panic, tapping jaemin’s shoulder and getting him to look to where it was that he was pointing: renjun’s father and his personnel were walking around, greeting families and individuals whilst handing out the invitations. and they were heading their way.  
jaemin nodded towards jeno, giving him a silent thanks.

“renjun…” jaemin whispered, making sure that the boy on his shoulder was the only one that could hear him. “i need you to put that hoodie up, okay? and just pretend to be sleeping.”

renjun frowned. “what- why?” he lifted his head to look at him.

jaemin looked over his shoulder to where the others were admittedly getting closer and closer with each passing second. he grabbed the hoodie and lifted it over renjun’s head, hands falling to rest on his cheeks right after. 

“just hide your face, or else they’ll see you. okay?” renjun nodded and that was enough for jaemin. he brought his head back down to his shoulder, making sure that renjun’s face was buried into the crook of his neck.

when they had finally reached the two, they gave jaemin a smile, the piece of paper being thrust in his face. he accepted it, folding it between his fingers. and that was that: renjun’s father and the rest of his workers were going to leave and let things end smoothly. but when jaemin saw renjun’s father look down again, he gulped. 

“long day?” he asked, referring to the sleeping boy and causing the younger to jump. jaemin nodded with a shy smile. the man inclined his head to the side, eyes resting upon something on jaemin’s torso. renjun’s arm. “it’s not very polite to be sleeping in this situation.”

 _there's no way he's serious_. renjun thought with an inward roll of his eyes.

“you don’t mind waking them up, do you?”

“oh, uhm… he gets quite cranky if he’s woken up, so i’d rather not.” jaemin replied with an airy laugh before politely adding a “sir.” to the end of his sentence. 

“i’m sorry,” he reached down for renjun’s arm. “ _but it wasn’t a question_.” he pulled renjun away from jaemin’s side with so much force that he flinched and whimpered at the pain that now coursed through his wrist. jaemin eyed renjun’s now red arm; it bore a watch, a watch with his family crest engraved inside of it. 

with both renjun and jaemin’s eyes full of panic, renjun’s father pulled him off of the ground, jaemin following to stand by his side. the look on his face the one of a crazy man – which he was to renjun, so he didn’t pay much attention to that; it was all too familiar, but he could definitely tell that he was about to be in the biggest trouble of his life.

“get in the car.” he demanded, voice flat. but renjun stood there, too much in shock of actually being found out and caught that his heart was hammering and his thoughts had come to a halt. he only hoped that the rest of his friends remained safe on the other side of the tree. “i said,” his father reached for his wrist again. “ _get in the car_.” he jerked renjun forward. 

renjun winced again and let out a low hiss, rubbing the part that ached. jaemin scowled.

“stop hurting him!” he yelled quickly, mouth moving faster than his brain.

the man turned towards him, giving him a raised eyebrow as he told his men to stand back. “and who are you to talk? i’d quiet down before you cause any more trouble, boy.” he warned.

jaemin persisted. “can’t you see that you’re hurting him? you’re not doing anything to better the situation.”

“maybe,” he growled, inching forward. “but that will put him in his place; make him learn some respect.”

now, jaemin was angry. his eyes became fiery and the corner of his mouth shot up in disgust and disapproval, looking the man up and down. “i think-”

“nobody cares what you think! _jaemin, shut up!_ ”

it was renjun that had yelled.  
jaemin’s mouth sealed itself shut, drying out as he could only stare, bewildered. he knew it was out of impulse, but it was the first time renjun had ever shouted at him. of course, jaemin had expected it to happen at some point, but in the situation that renjun was just screaming “ _i love na jaemin!_ ” from a mountain top, or something. he mentally rolled his eyes at the thought, his face still retaining the expression of disbelief that renjun’s was beginning to mirror. jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

“jaemin,” renjun whispered apologetically. “i didn’t mean to- i’m sorry.” he finalised, finding it better to keep it short rather than spurt more information than what was needed.

neither of them had noticed his father murmur something to his personnel, them bowing their heads and following the orders given. two grabbed each of renjun’s arms, dragging him back and towards the car. he struggled and squirmed to escape their grasps - which he eventually did, rushing forward to envelop jaemin in what was supposed to be a hug, but it ended up being so much more.  
once renjun was pulled back for the second time, he went willingly, offering jaemin a small smile which he returned with shining eyes.  
the slam of the car door broke him out of his gaze, causing his eyes to find their way to the other again. his features were blurred thanks to the dusty window pane, but jaemin was beautiful nonetheless.

‘i love you, too.’ jaemin mouthed in reply, tasting the new words that dripped from his lips like warm honey.  
he decided that honey was enjoyably sweet. 

 

✰ 

_“what were you thinking?”_

was the first thing his father had said once the car had started.  
renjun watched as the vehicle moved forward, leaving jaemin behind. he slumped back into his seat and heaved out a sigh, eyes meeting his father's. _cold_. he felt cold although having jaemin’s hoodie wrapped around him like a blanket; he clung onto the blanket like a child would a fairytale. but this wasn’t a fairytale, and renjun wasn’t a child. he had to step out of his imaginary world and into the real one, even if it was for just a second.

“i was thinking,” renjun spat back, unable to control the sudden outburst of anger. reality was harsh. “that i needed to get out more… seeing as all you do is keep me trapped inside all day.”

“we do not _trap_ you, renjun.” his father said. “we’re just making sure that you’re safe.”

“safe?” he scowled. “i’m sure i would be a lot safer if you let me out to learn about the world that is literally around me. _dad_.” he said the last bit as if it were venom that had run down his throat – burning, seeping, disgusting.

his father gave him a warning look. “watch your tongue. you’re already in enough trouble. don’t worsen it.”

“what’re you gonna do?” he asked. “board up my windows?”

there was a moment's silence.

“that’s not a bad idea.” he prodded one of the men sitting in front on the shoulder, telling him to take note of what he was saying. “of course,” he continued. “we wouldn’t board it; we’d have to get some sort of… bars, maybe?”

“you can’t be serious.” renjun said, it sounding more like a statement than a question.

“with what you pulled today,” he raised his eyebrows. “i’m dead serious.”

“you make the worst decisions,” he shook his head in disbelief, lips parting. “they’re always so stupid – or, as you would put it, lack thought.”

“excuse me?”

“ _you’re excused_.”

the sarcasm left his father dumbstruck, his face ashen; he’d never seen this side of his son before. and he wouldn’t tolerate it.

“stop the car,” he said to the driver, who complied within an instant. he then turned to renjun. “get out.”

renjun’s shoulders dropped, his head tilting forward. “what?”

“get. out.” he repeated. “you can walk home. it’ll give you time to think over what you’ve done.”

usually, renjun would argue, but he couldn’t find an ounce of strength in him to do so. he gave his father one last look, waiting for him to tell renjun that he was joking and that he wouldn’t have to walk back home in the freezing cold. but his father never made jokes; they were too improper. so, with one final huff of annoyance, renjun opened the car door and landed on the ground, the breeze hitting his face immediately. he shut his eyes, getting used to the drop in temperature. he turned around and slammed the door. 

he supposed that walking in the wind wasn’t much different than staying with someone just as cold.

but renjun found himself walking the opposite way, his home growing further and further away. not that he’d classify it as ‘ _home_ ’; home was supposed to be a safe place, a place where one was always welcome, but he had none of that.  
there was one place he did. 

 

he’d knocked on the door a while ago, but no one had heard him. he gave in and pressed his finger against the doorbell, the sound ringing out inside the house, loud enough to be heard from outside. at last, he heard footsteps pattering against wooden floorboards, running to open the front door.  
the door swung open, the boy holding it had his hair all messed up and pyjamas hanging loosely around his frame. he tilted his head in confusion, silently asking the question, ‘ _what are you doing here?_ ’, but in the span of a second, that expression had disappeared when he voiced: 

“are you okay?”

renjun surged forward, arms finding their way around jaemin’s neck and feeling his own wrap around his waist. they pulled back, eyes glued to one another.

“he told me to walk home,” renjun sighed outwardly. “so i did.”

 

jaemin’s parents had absolutely no problem with renjun spending the night (though, they were quite wary of what the consequences would be for renjun. he brushed them off.), jaemin had even lent him some clothes to wear. they soon found out that the shirt was much too big for renjun, but jaemin had simply walked forward, placed a light kiss on his forehead and told him that it was adorable. and that he should eat more vegetables. renjun punched his arm for that one.

as midnight crept up on them, they laid together, duvet evenly spread out atop the two. renjun had claimed that jaemin had been hogging the entire thing, – which he was – to which jaemin had just mimicked renjun’s voice in a smaller one to tease him.

“they worry about you, y’know.” jaemin whispered quietly enough to not break the comfort the silence brought them. his one hand was rested beneath his pillow, the other laying limply beside it. the moonlight streamed in through the window that had its curtains left ajar. “we all do.” he continued, referring to their group of friends.

“i know.” he replied, playing with jaemin’s fingers. “and you _should_. you’d be assholes if you didn’t.”

jaemin laughed airily, gaze never faltering. “renjun and his asshole friends…”

renjun’s mouth quirked up into a smile, scooching over to lay on his back instead, and have his head rest on the other’s chest. _warm. finally, warm._  
he stared up at the ceiling as if there were a million stars stuck onto it and his life depended on counting every single one. 

“i’ll be fine.” renjun said after moments of silence, feeling jaemin’s eyes still on him as he played with his hair. “we’ll be fine.”

“i know.” he replied. “the universe would be an asshole if it didn’t make things right.”

renjun laughed again. because with jaemin, he just couldn’t stop laughing; it was always the two of them laughinglaughinglaughing and kissingkissingkissing because they weren’t renjun and jaemin – they were renjunandjaemin.  
inseparable. 

“we should sleep,” jaemin spoke up, nudging renjun towards the clock the stood proudly on his bedside table. 

jaemin took renjun’s yawn as an indication that he agreed, so he sunk lower into the bed, fingers still combing through the other’s hair serenely as silence hugged them once again.  
neither of them slept; there was too much left unsaid, and they just wanted to keep on talking, talking, talking until the night became day, until they’d have to face the new challenges that would be thrown at them.  
but tonight, even if it was just for tonight, they could rest, and they could rest together, because together was when renjun and jaemin were at their best.  
so, they remained awake, invisible stars being counted and words being telepathically muttered as time ticked by.

 

“we could run away together. that’d make things a lot easier.”

“goodnight, jaemin.”

**Author's Note:**

> twt: renminlst


End file.
